Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Several things have happened since last week. All very enlightening, even if I didn't want them to be. I have been struggling with my ActiveLink since October. I had been on such an awesome roll that I had reached a new high stat of 113 days in a row of reaching 100% or more. Once I learned the stats button existed it totally motivated me to keep improving. Success was witnessed EVERY day! Yea me. Even when at my son's wedding I reached 100%, when I was in Florida for training, 100%, when back helping with my Mom as she was dying, 100%. Then to Texas for delivery of new technique first 3 days 100%. Then, on a Monday when I got home, didn't schedule enough time to walk before leaving for the airport and couldn't even get on the treadmill at the hotel. Could have walked more in the airport but, unfamiliar and was exhausted. And apparently over confident that I would reach it "easily"! Late that evening when getting ready for bed I realized I was only at 83%! NOOOOOOOOO! Physically and emotionally exhausted I had to accept that I just couldn't do it, I needed rest. So I went to bed. And, I had broken the streak! Truthfully I was devastated. Had Karen still been living she would have certainly "snapped" me out of it much sooner than 3 months. Yesterday, a member said that maybe it was one more loss and I agree. In a sense it was the final straw! I was frustrated that I couldn't control one more thing and to me it had become a "little" thing instead of what it really was a huge thing. In the whole scheme of things, my activity is one of my strengths. It does wonders for me physically and emotionally and I had lost track of all that I was doing and focusing on only one part of it. It was fun to see a new number every day. It gave me a pat on the back when I needed one the most because I had lost so much and then I lost it too. Well, I thank all of you for continuing to believe in me when I was losing hope and belief in myself, when I was feeling like a failure. Unwarranted as it was that was how I felt. So, I'm happy to say I am now in an assessment phase with my ActiveLink. I'm looking forward to seeing progress again with it. I know ALL of my stats from my previous success and looking forward to the changes I make this time. It's like when you change part of your food plan. You get to learn again, what works, why?, what didn't work, why?, what do you like and what you don't! And you can stop doing the Don't! :)
I am seeing the progress I've made in the last 13 years and areas that I still struggle with. I was fooling myself that I'm over the "perfectness" of this lifestyle. I want and NEED to accept the things I can't change and work with the things I can. Easy example, I will never be 5'8" so that weight range won't ever be mine! So quit crabbing and just deal! :)
Someone asked me last week if I was doing certain unhealthy things "on purpose"! Yikes, the answer was yes in some ways. I could then blame, pretend or bury my head in the sand and hope it would fix itself. I know better and yanked my head up and owned it. I am working my plan better, tracking indulgences more, not eating as many of them and preparing to get back to my active self again. And, yes, I'm doing it ON PURPOSE! Have a great week. See you soon!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
First, thanks for being patient with me. I'll admit it's been rough lately. I feel like I've had so much loss in so little time and just did what was absolutley necessary. I haven't felt like me. I haven't wanted to do much. One motivator has been all of you. You have kept me in the present, at least during the meetings. I'm also in the Weekly this week as the Leader. Not bragging but it has made me not give up, or give in or let go. I'm glad they picked this weeks topic, Spaces, for me to be part of. If my spaces hadn't been set up well for meals my weight would be way up. I've struggled with indulgences, too many over the holidays(and I'll admit ate a bunch out of "pity party for one"). But the thing is you don't feel better afterwards. You usually feel worse and then want to not go back to beating yourself up for another failure. But, I haven't failed, I've just been hit with tragedy, again. I've watched so many of you lose loved ones and still stay strong. So, I know it's possible! Just like 13 years ago when I met MJ and she had kept her weight OFF for 29 years, now 43! I realized it is possible to stay steady through this as well.
I am off on a great start today. I got to walk my full distance this morning! YEA!!!!
I fixed a wonderful Simple Start breakfast pizza, YEA!!! a healthy pizza for breakfast! :)
I'm having a Simple Start lunch and dinner! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having Simple Start snacks. YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not even sure about what indulgence today, I mean I've had so many lately that if I have one great if I don't that's ok too. I'm just so happy that my promary focus today isn't the indulgence! It's actually not even the food, it's just loving and being happy with me. And I know I'll feel better when I eat better. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope 2014 is going well for you. My granddaughter, yes, I'm letting you know :) is currently the size of a sweet potato. She is curious and looking for the camera while in her mommy. We get to see her every two weeks in her ultrasound, so that is awesome. We'll get to hold her sometime in May.
Gotta go for now to get ready for work and seeing some of you. Can't wait to have a great day. Hope you do too.
Love & life
Thursday, December 05, 2013
I think I need to say welcome back to myself. What a month it has been, or actually two, or maybe it's been a year and a half!!!! Like all of you, I have had my challenges recently. I can't say I came out unscathed. I gained and if you've been in my meetings this week you may have heard me say "I want my cheeks back." I crossed the "Never to be crossed again line!" with my weight. I may only be over it by 1 pound but it feels like 100! So, I love in the Success Handbook from the 2013 Success Kit where motivation is not like a cliff but like a circle. When you feel the least motivated you are actually closest to the highest motivation! Even though I said and promised myself I'd NEVER cross the line I also NEVER expected to lose my Mom and start travelling within a week. So, I MUST keep it real. I attend 3 meetings as a member while I was travelling. I plan to attend a meeting this coming week as well. I took this week at home to just be. WOW, was that needed! :)
I've had the opportunity to re-learn that this is a continuing journey. I'm not "fixed." I will have unknowns and unplanned things happen. I can look back on what has worked and NOT worked in the past. And what worked was tracking, go figure, so I'm back to tracking! I feel like me again and my cheekbones will be back soon! :)
I know I have shared a little about my Mom in the past. What I may not have shared and shame on me is what a wonderful, caring person she was. She touched a ton of lives in her 82 yrs. She was a wonderful role model for many. For me as well. Was she perfect, heavens no but none of us are. I was actually priviledged to see her "non-perfect" side. She hid it from most. However, that put a huge strain on her. She wanted people to think she was perfect. I'm so glad I was able to learn to "get over it!" in regards to that. I want to do my best. I want to be my best. I want to use the gifts and talents I have been given. And I'm happy that I am able to do that most of the time. I still fall short and probably always will in certain areas. That doesn't mean I don't work to learn from it and change what I can. My Mom was very proud of me and I think her favorite thing about me was that I am happy. She would want me to continue to be happy and she certainly wants me to be healthy. I am confident she hid her illness from all of us for quite a while. She continued to fight and fight and fight until that last morning when she was just too tired to fight anymore. Hindsight is a wonderful though sometimes painful thing. I could have picked up on things sooner but she didn't want me too. She wanted me to enjoy my son's wedding. She wanted me to have the new opportunity with Weight Watchers. She wanted me to be able to go to Texas and see how I handled new challenges. I think she would be proud of me for following through on all that was laid out in front of me in the last 2 months. I think she would be proud of me that I truly only gained 1-2 pounds. I miss her terribly and know that will continue, as it should, she was my Mom. She taught me a lot about what I want to do and how I want to live. Some things like her and some things not. I am so grateful for her life and mine. I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you have a happy December and the holidays if you celebrate them. I can't wait to see all of you, it is together with the help and love of others that we continue to live our lives. Have a great day, enjoy the cold, brisk weather and remember the sun/son is up above the clouds! Love ya!
Love & life
Sunday, November 03, 2013
I'm in the Austin, Texas airport waiting to come home. Can't wait to be back in all of my meetings this week. Life has been busy and had its ups and downs. Working to keep it real. Ready to boards the plane. Can't wait to see all of you this week.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Life and love, this last week was another tough one. On Friday, 2 weeks ago, my best friend from childhood called to fill me in on my parents. She had seen them at the wedding 9/14. They were great for 82 & almost 86. However, after the wedding my mom thought she had a flu bug. We were never able to get her to eat much and when Darcy took food, she couldn't get her to do much either. She then called me strongly suggesting I come home. I did just that and had to agree. My mom was losing ground quickly. She developed pneumonia on Tuesday and died peacefully Friday afternoon. We has a wake on Tuesday and mark and I got back home late Wednesday. I worked Thursday and Friday then flew to Texas to lead trainings. Lets just say I felt totally unprepared. It isn't like me to not strive to do things well. I'd practiced, trained and felt like a total wreck. Thought I was going to fail the staff and WW. A lot of prayers were answered and the trainings went well, even smoothly for the most part. I think I'm still numb, in disbelief. Making it through last year after Karen's death and the babies taught me that I'm tough and a survivor. My mom was one of the toughest ladies I've ever known. She never complained was just frustrated that her body was giving out. She lived a good life, certainly enjoyed her indulgences but touched so many lives in a positive way. I know many of you have heard some things a about her from me that were less flattering and as her daughter I have to say certain things definitely affected me. I will miss her terribly, her love, trust and confidence in me. Life goes on and continues to surprise me on what I can do when I'm down. I hope you can see your strengths through tragedy and enjoy triumph on some level. You you all!(I'm in Texas!):) see you soon.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
I would have to say it has been a little of both. I was stunned to see that a month had gone by since my last blog entry. I'm sorry for that, if you read it and need more of a commitment from me. Don't know what else to say. A quick catch up.
9/14 my son got married! Yea, it was beautiful, they are happy and life is great!
9/16 I left for Florida for training for a special WW project.
9/20 came home
9/21 back to work as normal!
last week my mom spent a couple days in the hospital and I'll admit it threw me for a loop. She is out and ok, got dehydrated again. She is wearing out and scared but stubborn and thankfully still wanting to be here.
Many of you have shared struggles with your mom's as well lately and several of you have lost them. My heart aches for you and I know you are experiencing challenges adjusting to you new life. Remember we are here to help you. Another member had a heart attack last week after running a race. He is recovering at home now. Wow, we just never know what life will throw at us next. But,.....we need to keep positive.
We are still here!
We are making progress!
We can still learn!
We are in this together!
We have made healthy changes!
There are more changes waiting to be made!
Baby steps work. Think small, tiny and it doesn't overwhelm!
For me, in this gap of blogging I have realized that I am truly a different person than I was 13 years ago when I came back to WW. I don't go to food for every crisis. When I do go for food for emotional reasons it is almost always healthier foods. I don't beat myself up for over indulging or eating for a "stupid" reason. I am learning to "deal" with some things on my own when I used to go to Karen. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't go so well. I'm working to figure out what makes the difference. Beware, if I find out I "can't go it alone for certain things yet I may be calling!" :) I am truly believing that this is the size I am supposed to be and that I am maintaining it as a LIFESTYLE! Yea, it is possible. And if it is for me then it is for you as well.
So I hope things are going well for you. I hope you are making small, doable changes that you want to live with. I hope you are happy with yourself today. And most of all, I hope I get to see you soon. Blessing to you and yours!
Love & life
Monday, September 09, 2013
Here are some quotes to start us off from meeting members last week.
"Junk food is optional and not necessary for life!"
"It's much harder to lose weight than to not gain it."
"I thought that it was going to be hard & it was, but looking back it was all worth it . I can't remember the pain. If I knew that I would encourage others to lose weight I would have started sooner."
"Routines and accountability make the biggest difference."
"That you can eat anything you want within reason & portion & give it time it will work!"
"Small changes will be easier and last longer than drastic changes all at one time."
"You have to be mentally prepared to be successful."
"Consistency is more important than perfection."
"When you have a bad day, it's ok-just start over the next day or as often as you need to."
"I was not smarter than the program. It's foolproof-follow it & it works."
"It's a process that you'll engage in for the rest of your life."
"Control what you can control and plan for the rest."
"Routine does not mean the same food and/or equal boring."
"You'll enjoy exercise......eventually."
"You have more energy when you're eating right."
"Share your successes and your challenges."
"I wish I knew how many other people think & feel the same way & what wonderful support comes from the meetings & other members."
And last but not least for today. What to say to a "newbie" "Welcome!"
Have a blessed day! More later and go ahead and pretend you are new, read, celebrate and follow the plan. Come in this week and celebrate member success!
Thursday, September 05, 2013
I survived. I survived the most challenging year of my life. I thank all of you for your support. I know I wouldn't have been as successful without you and your prayers and understanding this past year. For those of you who knew Karen, you made it through too. Congratulations. I have also learned a few things about myself so here goes.
-I can maintain my weight loss through tragedy
-I shop in a healthy manner to set my home up for success
-I love to walk, and kept that going all of the time
-I have healthy routines that keep me grounded and "On plan"
-I fix healthy meals
-I want to stay healthy
-I still look to unhealthy food more than I would like to
-I choose to not bring the unhealthy, too tempting foods into my house
-I track my activity everyday
-Some days I track my food
-I measure certain foods that I don't always want to keep reasonable
This blog is a comfort to me and a place to share my thoughts. I'll tell you that the last few days I have been thinking about what to say to everyone. I can't believe sometimes that a year has gone by. I survived so much tragedy but I still had hope. I lost my joy for awhile and still put one foot in front of the other. I survived without gaining weight! I continued to live my life without the routine I had before. I was able to establish a new routine for the times I spent with Karen and not eat through my grief. She wouldn't have wanted that. I still have work to do for me and you, God willing. I love my life and wouldn't wish this past year on anyone and I know we all go through bad/sad things. We are stronger each day for what we learn and how we accept certain things. For years my focus has been on food. Now my focus is on life. Yes, food is necessary and some is extremely tasty. We had an unexpected dinner out on Monday. We bbq'd at the in'laws. found out in the afternoon. I had planned an additional walk that afternoon so I walked to their home. I was going to walk after dinner to the frozen yogurt place. Didn't walk but still went. Yes, it was good and controlled. My lesson for the day? At the dinner, there were cookies. I like cookies. I love some types of cookies. I haven't brought cookies into our home for a while. I took one. Then saw my "skinny" sister in law take 2. So, I took another one. Another 4 PPVs. The lesson-I didn't enjoy them as I ate them. I bit off pieces from the cookie and ate them too fast. Since I don't have them often, I wish I had torn off pieces and eaten them slowly. Savored them. So, next time, that is the plan. I was at 177% for the day and over 200% the day before for activity. I no longer move for my food. I move for life and sometimes the "fun" food comes too, so then I need to enjoy, not rush.
I am working on last weeks list of what to say to a "newbie". It will be coming soon.
Have a great and blessed day. You are a winner because you are still here.
Love & life
Monday, August 26, 2013
HI Everyone. I hope you are all doing well. I am busy with work, family, the wedding and moving more. I have now reached 100% + 50 days in a row. Wish I had tracked my food as well but I am sooooo thankful for the AL 'cause it does it for me. I have tracked on my phone more recently than I did a while ago. I know without a doubt I still struggle with my junk. I find myself focusing on how and when I can get more in. BUT, I am making progress. As soon as I realize that is where my thoughts are going, I say STOP. Don't get me wrong, I will have "junk" in fact I have something planned for this week already. I want that to be enough. I don't want to want some every day. I don't want my life to be focused on fitting it in. And as I said last time, if I focus on the Don'ts, then when crud happens, the "thing" following the Don't is the only thing I remember. So, working on focusing on what I DO want and then that is where my head will go! Duh, it is finally sinking in! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I want to hit 100% + again today. I want to eat healthy for breakfast, lunch and dinner and actually have them planned. I want to pack healthy snacks for me today so I will be satisfied with a coffee later in the day. I have book club Chapter 6, tonight in Geneva 7:00 and tomorrow in Schaumburg 7:15 so I need to have dinner easy and with me. A light snack when I get home late both nights.
So, what DO you WANT for TODAY!? Go for it. See you soon and blessings to you and yours!
My weight loss
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Yea me, a follow through! Yesterday morning I walked to Starbucks twice, a total of 8 miles. I shared a 13 PPV scone with my friend, counts as 7 for half!!!! I had been wanting to go for yogurt (the frozen kind) since the weekend. But, as I tracked and annex ahead I didn't want to spend the PPVs on more junk that day so I planned to delay. Well, yesterday afternoon happened and I forgot I wanted to delay, seriously only remembered thinking frozen yogurt tonight. And because I was upset, emotionally it was now I "needed" it. So I spent another 10 on that and had some taco chips for 6. Then, I went to track and saw the scone!!! Then I remembered why I had decided not to have the yogurt that morning. But, with the stress I truly forgot the scone! I made my soup and enjoyed it and chose to not snack while waiting for it to heat, because I was now planning for the yogurt. It still amazes me how quickly we/I can forget my best intentions. But, overall I have succeeded this year, I think healthier more of the time, I have maintained my weight, I have increased my activity and I'm taking better care of me. I'm a year older and wiser whether I was ready or not. Life happens and lives change, with support I'm proof we can make it through anything. Thanks for being there. If you're struggling, PLEASE make a meeting. Someone will understand. See you soon. Blessings!
Love & life