Despite some indulgences, I had a pretty good weekend. I used up a lot of weeklies as usual at a St. Patty's bar crawl, hibachi dinner on Friday, and I had like, two bites, at a jewelry party (yay me!), but I think I can get through the next couple days on what I have left. Today is looking good; I may even stick to my daily points. Also, my activity points are really great. After working out tonight, I'll have 15 APs, when that's usually my end of the week total. I'm trying to step it up at the gym since I'm having some issues with food lately. But, I felt fat yesterday, and to some degree, today as well.
I'm still balancing with indulgences, still trying to find that middle ground. I'm a work in progress right now. I feel like I'm relearning everything I've known since I recommitted in July. Maybe I've had it with winter and my resolve is gone, or maybe I'm just stuck in an off-plan spiral. Once you're in it, it's so hard to get out. When you're on-plan, it's so much easier to stay on-plan. You're in the habit, you're seeing good results, and you're happy. When you're off-plan, there's this barrier you have to break through to get back on-plan. Right now, I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall, the barrier, and getting nowhere close to breaking through. Every time I make a good choice, something derailes me. A trip, a holiday, a restaurant. I can say I'm motivated until the cows come home, but it really comes down to that split-second, when you're deciding between eating that girl scout cookie and saying no because you want to reach goal. That split-second is where your motivation is or isn't. I'm still choosing the cookie right now.
I need a loss at WI to help me want to stay on-plan, but you have to be on-plan to see a loss.
Like I said, I'm trying. I'm taking small steps, slowly, to get my WW-pro self back, but I can't take it on all at once. You don't build the wall all at once; you build it brick by brick. So why would I assume it can be torn down all at once? Nope, I have to take it down one brick at a time. I think this week has been better than last week, and I think I can keep myself on the straight and narrow for a few more days. I really don't want to be going out of town this week. Yet again, I feel like when I finally make some progress, something else gets in the way.
I guess I just can't let it get in my way. No excuses, right?