Tuesday, April 15, 2014
I promise I'm still around :)
I'm still a bit of a storm cloud...I feel like anything I'd have to write right now would be depressing so I've been hanging back from posting. But I'm hanging in there.
I've been gaining and losing the same two pounds, still teetering near my highest weight ever for the last couple weeks.
I'm not happy about it, but I'm not exactly in the best of places at the moment...I can only control so many things in my environment.
I'm still house-less (not homeless). The house I posted about last time is still stuck in limbo. We've been told Fannie Mae intends to accept our offer. But said offer keeps getting lost in their system. Yesterday marked three weeks since we initially placed our offer in on this house. And our contract states we're due to close in a week...seeing as how we don't even have an executed contract, that's obviously not going to happen.
DBF and I have been at odds over it a bit. I am so tired of this whole process. We've really had a horrible time of it. This is the fourth house we've offered on. I feel like it's a lot to ask someone to fall in love with four different houses. After three weeks of waiting, I'm ready to cut my losses. I'm tired of being jerked around by the bank. If it takes house #5, then that's what it takes. I want somewhere to live that's my own. I want to live somewhere OTHER than my parents basement. I can't control my environment at my parents house. I need my own space so I can get back to my own life and my own plans. And it'd be so nice to have DBF back alone. I miss our tiny little apartment in Montgomery.
(See? This is depressing. I'm sorry, y'all.)
We're giving Fannie Mae until tomorrow to accept our stuff. If not...we'll need to reassess and maybe start looking again. I think DBF is ready to be rid of the whole thing as well. But he wants to wait this house out.
I know it's only Tuesday, but I'm looking forward to this coming weekend.
It will FINALLY be the trip that DBF is taking us on for my birthday (ya know...I've only been waiting for this since February...). It's just a staycation at a cute little boutique hotel just over the Kansas state line. But it'll be time away from work, from my parents, from the puppy (I love the dog...but man, he's still not past the stage where I can take my eyes off of him yet), and from life in general. And I'm not-so-secretly hoping a shiny rock for a certain finger comes out of this trip (I have reason to believe it might...but I'm trying not to get my hopes up in case it doesn't happen).
So that's my life right now.
I'm still reading everybody's posts. I'm trying to be a little more active on the boards. I makes it easier for me to be accountable, I think. Even though I feel super awkward about it right now. And I'm happy to see a familiar face back on here (I'm looking at you Shaina
One of these days I'll get my stuff back together, I promise.
Love & life
Friday, March 28, 2014
I've been really quiet for a while.
I feel like everything good I posted about last time on the board just fell apart. I needed some time to focus on me, and do it privately, before I could come back to the blog.
Without waxing poetic...here are the bullet points:
- We lost the house. We caught flack from HUD while trying to inspect. We couldn't complete the inspection b/c the pipes burst in the house BEFORE they winterized it. There were loads of other problems they hadn't disclosed. We had to walk away. I was heartbroken. On top of that, they threatened to keep our earnest money...and losing $1,000, on TOP of the $500 we spent on inspections/necessary paperwork for it, wasn't an option if we wanted to keep looking.
- I gained.
- I gained some more.
- Then I gained a lot more. And I'm really not sure how it happened. I'm REALLY not. I was tracking. Things were in line. And BOOM. All of a sudden I'm back at my highest starting weight. And the next week BOOM...I'm above it setting a new high. Also devastating. It makes no sense. Still looking back, I'm not sure where that horrendous gain came in. Approximately 10 pounds in 3ish weeks.
- I hurt my back. I think this has to do with my weight gain - my muscles just can't support the added poundage.
So...that all sucked.
I think stress from the house and the weight gain further helped to facilitate more weight gain. That, and according to fitbit, I've only been averaging around 4 hours of sleep each night. And whatever has been acting up in my back has kept me out of the gym.
So...this is me looking at all the positive things happening now...weeks later.
I lost 2 pounds last week. And I did it without tracking. I feel like I needed a re-set, and that's what I got. Now I'm back to my tracker.
Another thing that I think contributed to losing that weight?
Not the show...
Dexter is the almost-3-month-old Chocolate Lab/German Shorthaired Pointer mix DBF and I adopted from the shelter on Sunday. He's adorable. And he's a crazy ball of energy. I've been so busy keeping up with him (and running after him) all week, that I haven't had the time to snack that I normally struggle with. AND running after him means I hit my goal on fitbit (5,000 steps per day) for five days in a row for the first time ever. Yesterday would've been the 6th, and I didn't quite make it. My back decided to flare up again. I need to get more of this weight off and hope that won't been an issue going forward. If not, a Dr.'s visit is in my future.
We were told on Friday we would get our earnest money back from our last house. Thank god. That's $1,000 that we just couldn't lose. I picked the check up on Monday. We also submitted an offer for another house on Monday. We got our counter offer yesterday. We countered again. We should hear back today. I'm hopeful. And because this sucker is almost brand-spanking-new...I don't think inspection will come up with many issues. I'm trying to stay very, very positive. This has been such a difficult journey.
Because of my back issues, I started taking a single Tylenol PM before going to bed - just enough to relax things. I've been sleeping SO MUCH BETTER. I feel so much better when I wake up in the morning. I've been getting 1-2 hours MORE sleep every night. The catch 22 on that one...I don't want to keep supplementing myself with Tylenol. I need to start researching a few other methods. I think better sleep will just help everything I'm going through right now.
One last thing...
Friday, March 07, 2014
We've been back. I've just been too busy to blog.
Why you ask?
WE HAVE A HOUSE!!!!
But more on that in a minute...
As expected/planned...I ate everything in sight in Montgomery. It was awesome. What was not awesome was my weigh in yesterday morning. So all I'm going to say is that it was bad. And I'm moving on. I'll head back to the gym tomorrow - hopefully I'll be back to where I was before in a week (or more likely, two).
We ended up driving back in the middle of snowmageddon on Sunday. What should have taken us 12-13 hours...actually took 15 hours. A stretch that should have been a 30 minute breeze, took us close to two hours because the interstate in that section hadn't been treated properly and it was SOLID ICE.
I was beside myself. It was terrifying. NOT FUN. I think if the road hadn't cleared up where it did, we would have pulled off in the middle of nowhere at a no-tell motel to stay the night. It wasn't a good situation.
Monday, I was exhausted of course. And I was eating all the leftover roadtrip food. BAD BAD BAD.
Tuesday we got the awesome news that our bid was selected for the HUD home we'd wanted. So Tuesday night...all night...was spent at our Realtor's office putting together a hand-written (in blue ink...the government requires documents to be filled out by hand in blue ink...) executed offer that we then had to OVERNIGHT to the home's executor in TEXAS. We're in Missouri, y'all. This whole process is just off-the-wall weird. And despite our exhaustion from the last few days...we were too excited to sleep.
Wednesday starts the barrage of emails from our mortgage broker with questions on funding and what not and where we're pulling the money from for our loan/downpayment/ect. And then there was the surprise that we needed two months in arrears for the sake of loan processing. We have it but we can't spend a single red penny out of my bank account for the sake of a safety net until the loan goes through.
That irritates me. We've been in the middle of this process for two months. No one ever told us we needed that. Heck, this is the cheapest house we've looked at (which is AWESOME), the other two houses we offered on were more expensive. We totally wouldn't have had the funds when/where/how they would have wanted us to. It's not that they need the funds for anything. We're not spending them on anything related to the house. They just have to be in the bank. Irritating. Cue the stress. We didn't sleep well.
Then Thursday morning was weigh in...that was ugly. And that's all we're gonna say about that.
I was tired. I was stressed. I was cranky. So when I got home from work yesterday I conked out at 2:30 and slept until close to 6. That was AWESOME. We went back to the Realtor's office, signed another version of the executed contract (if you make a single mistake, you've got to do the whole thing over again and overnight it again...in this case, our Realtor had used white-out on the sheet. That was the mistake. **** . That's our gov't at work ladies and gentlemen...) We got back, had a small dinner...then I slept HARD from 9 to 4:15 a.m. when the alarm went off.
I needed that. I'm relaxed. There's less stress. I'm not tired or cranky. I'm back on the healthy/fulfilling food train, not the "any junk I can find" train, and my energy levels are better.
I thought about stepping on the scale to see if it's water weight I'm dealing with, but I'm going to give it a day or two before doing that. I don't want to ruin the cloud I'm riding on right now.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
DBF and I are headed out of town tonight for a long weekend back in Montgomery to see the friends we left behind when we moved and to head to a wedding on Saturday.
Since we'll technically be in CoMo tomorrow, away from our scale, I went ahead and weighed myself a day early.
I got some awesome news.
So...I'll get to that.
Let's go back through my week, shall we?
Thursday night DBF and I hopped in the car and headed to Overland Park which is about 30 minutes away. They recently opened a Firebirds there, which was one of our favorite restaurants while we lived in Montgomery. (Have I mentioned how much I love living in a metro-area now where I have so many options with things to do and places to go??)
I scrimped and saved my points during the day because I KNEW we were going to blow those things out of the water with my dinner.
I ordered their filet medallions with a mushroom sauce, green chile mac and cheese, and their killer southwest au gratin potato casserole. I had bread with dinner. And an awesome drink called a "Bubbly Peach." And then we wrapped it all up by splitting a slice of CREME BRULEE CHEESECAKE! <-- that's the stuff dreams are made of.
It's a pretty expensive place for our budget, and this is a one in a blue moon super rare treat, so I indulged pretty hard.
I used a total of 56 points. Yikes.
I had the best of intentions on Friday. I headed to the grocery store on my lunch break to grab something from the salad bar. As a passed through the doors this amazing smell wafted by...their Chinese. So I left the store...with a bag full of chinese food in my hands. And a giant bowl of their store-made muddy buddies in my bag as well. Oops.
I was good for dinner that night with a small porkchop and green beans. I only went over my DP's by 2 points.
But what I'd done earlier in the afternoon made all the difference. I WENT BACK TO THE GYM!!!
And man, it felt good.
Then Saturday DBF and I got up...and we went BACK TO THE GYM!!!
And it felt really good. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. We did a lot of shopping and walking. For the first time since I got it, my fitbit hit more than 10,000 steps.
On Sunday, we had a pig-out breakfast. Then we went house hunting. So we did a lot of walking. And instead of reaching for the doughnuts on our break at a gas station, I grabbed beef jerky. Which, technically, isn't all the healthy. But it packed the protein punch I needed to keep me away from other temptations during the day.
My Monday and Tuesday were both fairly normal with regard to dietary choices.
And then this morning I stepped on the scale...
I'm down 3.2 pounds!
So I lost the 2 pounds I'd re-gained the last week, plus one more pound! YESSSSS!!!
So I'm celebrating a loss. And I'm so excited to head back to "The Gump" to see everyone again. And we're anxiously awaiting news on another house.
This time we placed a bid on a HUD home. The process with those are very, very different. There's no negotiating. You enter your best and highest in the form of a bid. The house is open for showings and bidding for a week to 10 days. And, at the end of that period, the selling agent selects one of the bids.
Right now it's kind of a relief to know that we've entered our bid and it's out of our hands. After our last two experiences, the negotiations process was wearing us down. We should find out on Monday or Tuesday of next week if our bid was selected or not. And since we'll be out of town and won't be able to look at houses, it's kind of a relief to know we're technically not missing out on anything since we're waiting to hear back on something else.
I've got my fingers crossed that the third time is the charm with this one. :)
See y'all next week when we get back!
My weight loss
Thursday, February 20, 2014
I figured I'd see a gain on the scale this week. And I did.
It was valentines, birthday and we had situational nightmare after situational nightmare between home and work. There was no way I could've been prepared.
I am super proud of myself for making some really really good choices.
I know without those, I would be more than 2.1 pounds up.
Here were a few of my swaps...
There's a restaurant in Columbia, Missouri called Flat Branch - it's technically a restaurant and brewery. It was one of my fav's when I went to school at Mizzou - so that's where I asked to be taken for my Valentine's lunch. Normally I don't eat a true meal there - I order their soft pretzel appetizer with spinach artichoke dip. The pretzels come in two thick, foot-long strips. Normally I demolish them both by myself.
This year they've added the option to order only one. So I did, and added a smoked salmon Cesar salad with dressing on the side.
Then I shared a single order of creme brulee bread pudding with DBF and his mother.
Houlihan's. YUM. They serve a lemon/asparagus risotto dish that's topped with fresh arugula and big bay scallops. It's rich. It's delicious. And compared to some of the other dishes on the menu, it's relatively point-friendly. They offer a half order. I went for that knowing I'd have birthday cake later.
Snacks at home:
There were LOTS AND LOTS of chocolate candies and cookies at DBF's parents house. They went a little crazy with the half price sales the day after Valentine's day. I let myself have a few pieces. But after that, whenever I was tempted, I'd have a small slice of deli turkey. It still tasted good. But it had more protein so it had me circling for snacks less and less.
My Valentine's Candy:
DBF bought me a big bag of jelly beans. Normally that's gone within 48 hours. I stretched it out for the entire week. Pretty sure that's never happened.
Had to sprint out and grab lunch unexpectedly after breaking news yesterday. I needed somewhere FAST that would have filling food since I was starving because I'd forgotten to bring my snack. I headed to the Jimmy John's drive thru and ordered my usual sandwich sans cheese.
It really wasn't good to have to deal with both an emergency lunch AND an emergency dinner the night before a weigh in. But I did. The family ended up at Five Guys after visiting my aunt in the hospital. I ordered one of their "little" hamburgers and topped it with lettuce, onions, mushrooms and tomato plus ketchup and mustard.
I can point to a lot of good choices I made this week. I think my problem was the extreme volume. I may have the points for both a Jimmy John's trip and a Five Guy's burger on the same day - but that doesn't mean it's good for my body (or my sodium levels).
I think I'm going to try and hydrate the living daylights out of myself this week. And I may weigh daily to see how things progress.
In other news...
I'm still dealing with a little depression. I just feel like I need something GOOD to happen. I need some sort of good news that's significant in my life...and that hasn't happened yet. I'm working on focusing on other things so I can snap myself out of this "poor me" mentality.
I am looking forward to the end of next week.
DBF and I are headed back to Montgomery for a friend's wedding. It will do me some good to see friends from my old job again - especially when I'm not really feeling the love right now in mine.
I'm throwing in the towel a bit this afternoon when I get home from work. I've been having a really rough time with sleep this week. I'm exhausted. And it's starting to show.
I'll be taking a ZzzQuil then putting myself down for a long nap. I think some rest will do me as much good as anything right now.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
I've been more than a bit of a killjoy the last few days. There's a funk of bad things on the air and I just can't shake it.
Mom had to have her dog put down on Friday (there was no love lost between Moose and me, he'd attacked me twice, leaving scars, a few years back) and even though I wasn't sad about it, mom's been walking around like she's in a funeral for days.
We headed to CoMo Friday night. Saturday was OK. I had my Valentine's lunch from the SO...but then he sat down and watched a basketball game all afternoon with his dad, and I got ignored. Oh, and their dog busted my glasses. I was able to fix them, but they don't fit the same way. Coincidentally, I ordered a new pair last week, I just have to wait for them to arrive now.
His parents took me to the mall to pick out my birthday gift.
I'm grateful for the gift. But I really hate having to pick it out myself. There's no surprise in it at all. And that's one of the best things about a birthday.
Sunday we left CoMo to head back to KC. I left my iPad in CoMo. DBF is being a **** saying we can't go get it. So I'm now stuck without one of my lifelines for two weeks. I can't help but think if it were his iPad, we'd be on our way back to get it already.
Yesterday was my birthday. My great-aunt fell and broke her hip...so my mom spent the day with her at the hospital. And because of that, she couldn't shop for my birthday. So she re-gifted a pair of socks to me. And told me she'd take me shopping for a pair of Sperry's. Again. No surprise.
I found out the other day that the engagement ring DBF and I picked out was sold. (Story of my life right now...the houses I want get sold...now it's the engagement ring). So instead of that, DBF booked a trip for my birthday gift to a boutique hotel here in the area. But it's for a weekend in April. So I'm pouting a bit about that.
I realize I sound like an incredibly selfish person right now.
And maybe I am. Maybe I deserve this. I'm probably acting like a horrible human being.
But I just feel like I keep getting left with the short end of the stick.
We got scr*wed over on not one, but two houses. The engagement ring I wanted was sold. And the one and only time of year when I do want attention, it doesn't happen.
I'm getting upset just writing this. And the fact that I'm upset makes me even more upset because I know so many of these things are material and there are others out there who are far worse-off than me. I should be able to get over this and get past this.
But I can't escape the feeling that I need something good to happen. It's just felt like a rough couple of weeks. And I'm tired of dealing with it.
I need to get over myself.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Literally...figuratively...in pretty much every way possible...I'm "bouncing back."
Still have that cough. Still have a little "goo" going on in my nose. But my ears aren't clogged anymore. I've got my energy mostly back. And someone at work yesterday said my eyes looked brighter. I'll take it.
I put on an older pair of jeans today and an older sweater. The sweater is bordering on too big (until I get to the point that I can wear leggings with it...we'll see...it's just oddly misshapen right now) and the pants, which used to be tight, fit great.
And today was weigh in.
I stepped on the scale and held my breath...
I'm down 1.5 pounds.
So I managed to negate my gain from last week. SWEET.
I think my body is trying to get into a new hormonal cycle as a result of the change I made last month. And I'm betting a pattern is going to emerge.
Week 1: Small loss
Week 2: Small loss
Week 3: Big loss
Week 4: No loss
That's how things are looking...but we'll see if that keeps up.
The nice thing is that I haven't felt super deprived this week. DBF and I looked at each other Tuesday night and said BEEF.
We wanted red meat. So we went and got a steak from a super unhealthy restaurant. And I may or may not have enjoyed a few too many rolls. And a spiked cherry limeade slush. YUM.
Add this to my tortilla chip binges (the Late July brand organic sea salt tortilla chips are AMAZEballs and they're pretty low-point for a big serving), my pirates booty binges, and my unfortunate experience with the 30+ point breadbowl pasta...
I ate all of that and still lost weight. And I did it without traditional exercise.
That's pretty awesome.
This week will be a little more difficult. Valentine's is Friday. My birthday is Monday. I want to enjoy myself...but I'll need to make sure I'm on my best behavior the other days of the week.
My weight loss
Monday, February 10, 2014
Short blog post today. I've got an angry little storm cloud hanging over my head so I'm not much company.
I'm STILL sick. I want to go to the gym but can't since I can't get this cough under control...I feel like I'm wasting my membership. (And this clogged ear is about to drive me up a wall)
We lost the house. In the WORST way possible. We had a verbal agreement. Then the **** seller went Mr. Hyde on his Realtor and refused to pay her commission, and as a result refused to sign our contract. They got him back on track. He then started picking apart our offer. Still refused to sign but acknowledged his verbal agreement. Our offer expired at 5:00 last night. His Realtor said if he didn't accept our offer, they were going to drop his listing. Yet...and 5:01...they went back to the people we outbid earlier in the week, asked them if they'd top our offer, the seller gave them the dollar amount, they agreed and now have a contract on the house.
Worst. Way. Possible.
So after a week and a half of negotiations...we're back to square one. We've lost two houses.
DBF and I decided to indulge our of self-pity last night. We ordered pizza. I got pasta in a breadbowl instead (decidedly worse for you than pizza). The woman delivering the pizza came down our snowy street in a Ford Focus. Bad decision. She got stuck. We had to get a shovel and hike up the street to dig her out. So I guess we earned a few AP's to offset that awful dinner decision.
This is me. Griping.
Sorry I'm not more fun right now.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
Two things I knew on Friday of last week:
1. After a 2.5 pound loss last week, I would likely gain or maintain this week.
2. I was getting sick.
I just didn't know exactly how right I was.
I told you all on Friday that I felt like I was coming down with something. I stayed in bed feeling gross all day on Saturday. I rested, but moved around a but on Sunday afternoon hoping that maybe some fresh air would help my system.
Nope. By Sunday night I had the most terrible headache and stuffed nose. And my horrendous cough from a few months ago had returned.
I was no better by the time rolled around for work on Monday so I called in and hightailed it to the Doc's office.
I got the flu shot back in November. Still got the flu.
Not a happy camper.
I stayed home Monday and Tuesday, but returned to work for Snowpocalypse at 4 .am. on Wednesday...or at least I tried to return...but that makes it difficult when you get a 4WD SUV stuck in a foot of snow...
I'm super thankful for good samaritains. I had a nice man who was clearing a bank parking lot up the street with a bobcat see my emergency flashers. He came to dig me out. I totally gave him a shout out on the morning news when I got to work as a thank you.
I was right about my gain/maintain as well. But for a different reason.
This flu medicine makes me hungry. And when I'm sick, I'm more likely to indulge on the foods that "make me feel better" and no exercising until I'm well.
My go-to feel better foods?
S'mores Pop Tarts, Gatorade (LOTS of it), Teriyaki Beef Jerky, and Fig Newtons.
I gained 1.5 pounds this week.
Here's why I'm not mad...
I'm sick. I got no activity. And throughout all of this, I learned a lesson.
Despite my splurges, I was still within my weeklies for the week. I ate almost all of them...and I tracked everything. But instead of BIG splurges like I've had in weeks past, it was just more food every day.
It looks like my system operates better with the bigger splurges rather than a constant point increase. And it likes more HEALTHY food rather than smaller amounts of fatty food. I'll remember that and things will be better next week.
As far as the house drama goes...it's been pretty thick this week. We're still in negotiations, but we got some news yesterday that things are starting to progress. So...more good house vibes...and good health vibes...would be appreciated as I deal with my sickness sideline and anxiousness over this home.
Friday, January 31, 2014
All signs are pointing down the road that I'm getting sick again.
I had a bit of a cough last night. I woke up this morning with a bit of a headache, a slight stuffy nose, and this stupid tic cough that seem to come for no reason. And now I'm a little achey.
Did I mention hungry?
I want to eat all the food. Everything.
But the idea of food disgusts me all at the same time.
My body is truly at odds with itself.
I had a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch with skim milk for breakfast this morning. Usually that's enough to nip my sweet tooth in the bud and it holds me over until I can have my snack around 9 a.m. (breakfast is around 5...). But this morning the cereal just didn't do it for me. I felt HUNGRY. My hand was hovering over DBF's chocolate chip dessert bread...and I slammed it down to the counter and grabbed a grapefruit. I figure no harm done that way and if I really am getting sick, the extra vitamin C will go a long way.
Today is food truck Friday at work, so I'll have a slight splurge at lunch...(I can't decide between the brisket fajitas or the peanut butter and bacon burger...they both sound amazing. And I'm not sure what dinner will bring. But hopefully, if I'm not down for the count, I can find a way to get a good amount of activity in this weekend.
...and activity will help me with my nervous energy since we're waiting to hear back about the house :)