First thing's first...I stepped on the scale this morning. It wasn't as bad as I had been expecting. So that's a relief. It's still a really big number...and a really ugly number...but it's a number I can deal with.
Now on to the bane of my existence...
I can't for the life of me find a pair of pants that fit flatteringly.
I'm pretty sure my body is the true definition of in-between sizes.
Backstory: I found the "fit 4" pairs of pants I own after their previous evaporation in my current living quarters.
I can usually get by with only 4 pair of dress pants. I have one for Mon-Thurs and I can wear jeans on Friday (only have one pair of jeans as well). AND if I'm daring, I can wear a dress or skirt alleviating the need for 4 pair.
BUT...my favorite pair...the one and only pair that has fit me through thick and thin (literally) finally has to go. The zipper decided yesterday to give up the ghost...it won't stay zipped. So I spent all day at work yesterday tugging my shirt down when I was at work so the rest of the world didn't see the lovely print on my undies.
But not as embarrassing as actually having to go pants shopping.
I walked through a few stores and could only find a few styles without elastic around the waist...because I refuse. Just refuse. NO ELASTIC.
So I headed to JCP where Worthington styles have always worked best for me. 3/4 pairs of pants I have that still fit are all Worthington.
The actual pants I own are all size 18. Not 18W...just a straight 18. And they fit. Have for years. The ones I just retired were 5 years old. I'd worn them in college...and they were Worthington brand.
Straight 18's don't fit anymore.
I tried on 3 pair before giving up.
Ok, fine. So I head to the plus size section and grab a pile of 18W's.
THEY DON'T FIT!!!!
What the eff??? Has the clothing industry shrunken its sizes THAT much in the last couple of years? No wonder women have self esteem problems! The clothing industry is actively working against us to make us feel like we're gaining weight!
I should offer one correction to my "don't fit" exclamation above.
They'll button. They'll zip. And I'll have trouble digesting food and look like a marshmallow stuffed in a sausage casing.
So I very begrudgingly move up to a size 20...something I said I would never let myself do.
They don't fit either.
They're too big.
I look like saggin' baggin' Barry.
So what am I supposed to do??? Dress in drapes for the next 6 weeks until I can lose enough of my gut to actually get a pair of pants to fit???
Ultimately I bought 2 pair.
I bought one tight pair of 18's...it's livably tight. I can still breathe and digest...I'll just want to wear some baggier shirts for a few weeks. That's fine. I'm a champ with that.
I also bought one pair of size 20's. They were slim cut. And I'm pretty sure if I decide to keep them, I'll cut enough off to make a good hem that I might actually be able to construct a new pair of pants.
At this point...I'm not sure if I'll keep them. I tried on 20 pair...and I wasn't IN LOVE with any of them, but I feel like I need a new pair or two.
I may try and do some more shopping this weekend at stores I don't normally frequent - maybe they'll have brands that are cut differently.
I still just have a hard time fathoming that size definitions have changed THAT much to make my gut a size 20, but my legs, hips, backside remain an 18.
How are women supposed to even react to that?